Hatred

Hatred is such a strong word.

Wonder what it really implies though.

I mean, you hate many things around you but all those things seem to be the things you actually can’t do without. Like when you hate yourself for forgetting the birthday of your best friend of ten years, or when you begin to avoid the company of another of your pals just because you feel you’re being looked at as ‘one’ entity – always seen together, celebrating together, joking together – and you don’t want to lose your individuality.

Maybe it is bitterness at what you’ve become yourself – an image of someone you neither anticipated nor desired to be. Or maybe it’s just a simple hatred of yourself because you think you’re wasting your time - that you should be doing more revolutionary things, more radical things than blogging on the eve of a comprehensive exam. Or maybe it’s just frustration at your inability to come up with an appropriate title for the blog post you’ve just typed and anger at the fact that you just want to post it on your blog at the soonest, so you just post it under the heading of the first word of the post.