Epiphany

What is an epiphany? Is it merely realizing something you had stored in the back of your mind – the solutions to all your problems for example – or is it realizing that something and acting accordingly?

But then again, what do I know about epiphanies? Unless…it is the realization of the fact that it is probably time to stop being so dreamy…to stop being so abstract…to stop dealing in fuzzy measures and to begin weighing everything in concrete terms…in terms you can quantify…

The abstract is a part of me. I love imagining. I love dreaming. Like when I say my dream is to buy Manchester United Football Club, so that I can have access to the Director's box for every match. ;-)

Probably the epiphany does not lie so much in realization as it does in the choice it brings in tow…

Freed

A large window. A beautiful horizon. An attainable dream. A chain holding me back.

The only light that I see comes from the few rays that escape that beautiful scene. I don't want it to be night any more. I don't wish for it to go dark. Because the light will fade. And the dream would vanish. And all that I would be left with is nothing but despair.

An endless cycle. A vicious cycle. Time and space all merging into one. My entire being shivering.

Words have failed me. My mental faculties have deserted me. Is this some crippling disease?

And then the night comes. I look out of that same window. A vast ocean lies before me. An endless whisper of waves seduces me into making the decision. The chain suddenly comes off. I am on the brink…on the edge…teetering between despair and nothingness. I choose nothingness. As I enter the water, I don't feel the freezing cold, or the pain of a thousand pointed swords stabbing at me. All I feel is ecstasy. I am free. I have left. At last, I found something – the emptiness inside me at one with the emptiness in the belly of the ocean. Freed from everything I despised at last.